Crabby Blogging Lady

The kids were bored with all our movies (a collection that cost me many pretty pennies over the years) and I was resigned to scouring through the online movie dregs for some entertainment. Good Lord, the filth that is out there, marketed as “family” entertainment. I don’t have television and don’t go to the movie theater, so I have a different (read: objective) perspective on it all. Eek.

Anyway, I came across an old show from Father Knows Best. Do any of you remember that old show? It aired in 1954 (it was a radio program before then). It evolved into the TV show with Robert Young and Jane Wyatt. So we saw some episode where the boy wants a baseball team to visit Springfield, and he is convinced that his insuperable dad can arrange it. Which he does.

But the problem is that the dude Dad partners with to make it happen wants some (political) favors. Dad is unwilling to do it and there ends the heroic hopes and dreams of the Springfield boys.

As we watched the show, I was appalled. Simply APPALLED. What the heck ever happened to fathers???

Oh I KNOW, Father Knows Best was fiction, fantasy. But heck, even at its most fantastical, most Dads were still WITH their families in the 50s. Life has changed so much in 50, 60 years. Not for the better, no. Better to have a lame dad than no dad.

Whatever happened to the family unit, to the sanctity of marriage and the honor of raising children? Hey, a huge and fancy barbados wedding is terrific, a real accomplishment. Keeping those vows is even more important. So what happened between point A and B that makes us so radically different.

Of course, there is a lot to be thankful for– women don’t have to have 18-inch waists and wear poofy dresses all the time. And we have iPhones and laptops now. But all those things seem like a poor exchange for a wholesome family. So much has changed.

I saw this video showcasing the “latest” iPhone app. Watch it and tell me what you think…

If you are like me (and why else would you be reading this blog, hmmm??), then you probably thought, “Hey! That is so cool!!” After a moment when your brain cooled down to normal mode and the marketing scent evaporated, you no doubt thought, “What the heck?” Finally, you thought, “This is actually dumb. Why use your iPhone as a remote? Why don’t ya just put your TV remote in its proper place every time?!” See, I KNOW what you were thinkin’!

I think the iPhone is indeed a nifty device. Hey, vanilla dutches can be nifty, too. But humans always seem to take things a little too far to the extreme, you know? The iPhone is indeed neat, but do we really NEED an app for EVERYTHING?! Must it replace EVERYTHING we do? Just because there’s an app for that does not necessarily make the app good.

You asked for it, I got it. Crazy cars!!! It’s ALL the rage now, huh?

Roll out the barrel! Haha!

The Good: No more banging the car door against other cars in the parking lot! The Bad: If someone rear-ends you and you aren’t buckled in…..

This one is best followed by the “dog” car. What a design, though. Must have taken some heavy-duty technical expertise from the Houston web design gurus to get this one right….

*Some* people would accuse me of driving such a car…

Just plain weird.

Show-off:

Uhhhh what is it? The Blob?

I’ve always wanted to drive a Chia Pet. Hey, you could also snack on something green while in traffic.

This one must have a magnet for an engine. Hold on to your refrigerator magnets, people, lest this car slurp them up while it goes down the street!

The Barbie car. Or, Maureen Dowd car.

This one helps alleviate the “bugs splattering on the windshield” problem.

A popular model for Third World countries.

Tacky!!

I hope you enjoyed these as much as I did. :D What’s your favorite?

Well, Halloween is gone for another year, thank God. Here comes Thanksgiving and then, a month later, Christmas. And then, a WEEK later, New Year’s Day. And then… it’s a dry, dusty desert of nothing until Easter, in April.

Why is this? Why are all our holidays scrunched together within a few weeks of each other? Holidays help break up the monotony, especially during the winter season when the days are cold and dark and forlorn. But how about late January, February, and March? Those months are awful, especially February. There’s no holiday at the bleakest time of the year!

Oh, I guess there’s Valentine’s Day, but that’s not really a holiday. It’s just a pink Halloween, actually. The candy still flows but it’s pink or red and in the shape of hearts. And besides, Valentine’s Day is only for a few.

Maybe we should change the holiday schedule, or at least add a holiday in February or March. What kind of holiday could it be, hm? I can’t think of anything in particular. Maybe we could move the Fourth of July to February. Holidays in the summer are needless– we’re all practically on holiday for those months, anyway. Well, I guess we HAVE to have at least one holiday in the summer, for those folks needing rv loans and good weather for travel…

ANYWAY. I don’t like all these holidays scrunched up together from November to New Year’s. BAH.

Dear Queen Liz:

Please don’t crown your son as king. PLEASE. He’s a kook. He says weird stuff all the time. He must get it from his father. Remember what Prince Philip said, about reincarnation?

“If I could be reincarnated, I would wish to return to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.”

That’s positive leadership for ya.

Well, bonnie Prince Charles isn’t any better. As a matter of fact, I think he may be worse, because he takes things seriously. Take a look at the latest thing your son had to say:

“We are, of course, witnessing what some people call the sixth great extinction event – the continued erosion of much of the Earth’s vital biodiversity caused by a whole host of pressures, from the rising demand for land to the corrosive effects of all kinds of pollution,” he said.

Now, I’m not against being good stewards of the earth’s resources, but I think Charlie’s taking the WWF extinction a BIT too personally. We don’t worship Nature, dear.

In Charles’ defense, he does — on occasion — say something sane. Like his statement that teenagers should be bombarded with activities to prevent them from forming gangs. Yay, team. I also think young people should work until they’re exhausted. Idle teenagers get into trouble. Make ‘em chop wood and clean litter and scrub subway floors, I say.

Still, Charles is a little too weird. He’s also cheated on his wife and been, in general, a rather strange chap. I have high hopes for William. Hopefully, you do, too.

Respectfully yours,
Mrs. Crabby

P.S. If at any time you need advice in other matters of state, feel free to call or write. Or leave a comment. Thanks.

Holy cow, this headline and accompanying news is disgusting: Dollar Tumbles on Uncertainty About U.S. Debt Talks. And they say WOMEN are emotional?! Helloooooooo..

So investors are skittish because our stupid government can’t get their act straight. Well, someone please tell me how this is news?! What SHOULD make the large headlines is when U.S. politicians finally get off their fat butts and honor their oath to defend, protect and adhere to the U.S. Constitution! How’s them apples? And how about investors show a little ADULT temperance and stop whining like little babies because things are not superduper peachy keen this very moment?

Anyway, I really can’t get over how so self-absorbing the money lenders are. And the media feeds it. REPORTING THIS MINUTE: Warren Buffet hiccups– investors are nervous! STOCKS CRASH 3 points when Obama’s teleprompter shuts down! Blah blah blah.

Do we really need another thing to be worried about?