Crabby Blogging Lady

Saw this at Makes You Laugh.

Hilarious!

Makes ya wonder what the success rate is on scams like these. Enough to make the scammer keep trying again and again, eh?

Short answer: Leave flattering but spammy comments on various blogs about what a great blogger I am and what a great (fill in the blank) you are.

That’ll do it.

Is it just me, or is the content of spam changing these days?

I hate spam. Ah, don’t we all. I’m one of those unique individuals who has no use for V*****a, Ci***s, Pri****s, ****** ****, and ******** with *******. None at all. I don’t need a new toupee, don’t need a colon cleanse, and I don’t want to watch any videos of… you or anyone else.

Anyone who has an email address or a blog knows that absolute CRAP that comes from spammers. It’s staggering– not necessarily the AMOUNT of spam I get (that’s a given), but the utter filth and disgusting topics. There has got to be an explanation for it. I mean, do spammers REALLY think everyone will come flocking to their website to see/buy their product/service, after SPAMMING us so disgustingly and incessantly?! Please tell me how this new marketing scheme is successful?!

So we bloggers have learned to shut off spam. I scroll through the Akismet pages as quickly as I can, reluctantly but speedily skimming the comments in case a *real* comment is caught in the loop. But one made me stop in my tracks. HAHA! Is this a joke?!

Hi – I don’t comment on many web sites but had to on yours. It well done much! I really like how your writeing– very to point, unlike the of other blogs. Keep up the great works! Come see my good stuff, too. It is all about what you are talking about and you will like it.

It seems spammers are changing their tactics. Their spam is no longer filled with 20,000 links to ***** sites with gruesome descriptions. Now, they seem to be cozying up to us, flattering us, complimenting us on our style or even our blog theme. And then they have the gall to leave their link to their site, saying how wonderful they are, how much I’ll love their latest new blog blurb! Are they THAT dumb? Do they think WE are that dumb? That we’ll all come running to visit their websites, infect our machines with viruses, and ruin our lives?!

I AM NOT FOOLED, you SPAMMING SCUM!!! Die die die!!!

This has got to end somehow. I am SO TIRED of the spam. *sigh*

Muauahahahahaha!!! I’m winning the fight against spam!! Yessss! Victory, glorious victory!

I’ve discovered the glorious wonders of spam-fighting software! Yeehaw!

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

For months, I’ve ranted about how spammers were essentially destroying my blogs, not to mention my sensibilities– the filth in some of that spam makes my hair stand up. If you don’t have a WordPress blog, you have NO IDEA the filth that comes in spam form. This isn’t the standard “best way to lose belly fat” stuff, this is real horrid junk. What IS IT with WordPress blogs that gets it?! I never had such a time with spam with my Blogger blogs. Yick.

So anyway, I was spending a lot of time deleting spam. So a friend suggested Ban and Bad Behavior on top of Akismet, and it’s working! Hurray!

However, I’ve also heard reports that some people are not getting through to my blog, and are sometimesnot able to leave comments. For some reason, the software thinks you are a spammer. I don’t know how to fix this yet; I’ll look into it.

But spam is LOSING!! Haha!!

I finally figured it out. FINALLY.

Hoh hoh, you read those simple words and have NO IDEA the weeks of toil, frustration, and rage that goes behind them.

Joe may love his telemarketing calls, but me– I HATE THEM. I hate them with a white hot, liquid-lava, seething boils of bubbling rage. And I can’t stand them, either. I have things to do! Important people call me! I DO NOT appreciate running over to the phone TEN, TWELVE times a day only to hear a telemarketer’s schpiel! To hear that phone ring AGAIN and AGAIN… GAHHHHHHH!

I screen all my calls with my answering machine. I guess a lot of people do that, because the stinkin’ telemarketers have come up with new, inventive ways to bother us. They will allow the answering machine message to roll, and then when the tape starts recording, they either say “Hello? Hello”? and hang up, or… ooo feel the blood rise….. they hang up their phone and allow the dial tone to record. And because my answering machine *thinks* the BEEP BEEP BEEP is a viable sound, it keeeeeeeps on recording, until all the recording space is used up! Which means that any REAL call I get, I miss, because my REAL caller has no space to leave a REAL message. And it happens ALL DAY LONG. ALL DAY LONG!!!! Who would do such a thing? WHO in their right mind would terrorize my family from 9am to 10pm with “Hello? Hello?” and then hang up!?!?!?!

*snap*

*throws chair through the window*

So… it happened again today. I had a long day, was tired and was on my way upstairs to lay down for a little rest before I have to burn cook tonight’s dinner. Lo and behold, the phone rang, and it was them!!! “Hello? Hello?” I ran to my machine and hit the “stop” button to hang up on them. I think I was too late– they hung up first– but I was seething mad. I snatched up the phone and hit the *69, which gives me the number of the caller. I half expected it to be an “unavilable” number, since telemarketers often cloak their numbers. Imagine my surprise and delight when the number was given back to me. I hurriedly went to my computer to look up the number, expecting some car warranty scam or a new diet pill that I had to order.

Holy cow, it’s the ACLJ calling me. The American Center for Liberty and Justice. *groan*

I like the ACLJ, because I just hate the ACLU. But at least the ACLU leaves me alone.

But GOOD GOD, there’s a whole Hate Fest brewing over the ACLJ’s telemarketing calls. Apparently, lots and lots of people are getting these “Hello? Hello?” calls, and are angry. I was floored– Are the people at ACLJ INSANE?!?! Do they really think that folks are going to donate to the ACLJ cause and support their efforts if they nastily harrass people and assault answering machines?! They must be INSANE, absolutely insane!!!!!

The forum I found (where the Hate Fest is meeting) has a telephone number that you can call to get off their Harrass List. Oh my word, there are dozens, perhaps hunderds and thousands of people all seeing red, like me! All have been getting the stupid “Hello? Hello?” and going ballistic, like me. And I was ready to pay my phone company to change my telephone number, it was so bad. I am glad I finally figured this out! I called the Do Not Call Number, and the person I spoke with seemed verrry experienced with such a request. They took my number with an “ah yes” and that was that.

I will say that I do donate to charities. I like the mission of the ACLJ. I don’t know how they got my telephone number… I can’t remember ever giving money to them, unless Mr. Crabby did something dumb (unlikely). But the ACLJ had better stop doing this real quick-like, or they are going to find a LOT of very unhappy people who will NEVER give a cent. Like me, now. Forgetttttt itttttt!

And I don’t want to hear from any of you smart alecs, leaving comments and bad-mouthing the ACLJ, because you smart alecs think you’re atheistic and humanist ways are so much better. Balderdash. Despite me hating the telemarketing calls, AT LEAST the ACLJ ASKS for money. The ACLU TAKES money, from us taxpayers. So there. :-p

UPDATE: a mere TWENTY minutes after I posted this, I got ANOTHER telemarketing call!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Not from the ACLJ, but from another stinkin’ *&@$# company! The number: 305-728-0130. Am I ever going to get any rest?!?!?!

Hoh boy. This is just TOO much. I’ve seen my share of comment spam, the most disgusting, gutter-slimy, debauched filth ever. WHY these spammers 1) think they can do this, and 2) get away with it is beyond me. There are obscenity laws for everything else but spam, it seems.

But the latest spam comment I got just took the cake. Talk about arrogant! And he’s leaving this on my various blogs, too. JERK!

(deleted name of stupid jerk spammer) | (deleted stupid jerk spammer’s url) | IP: 194.165.42.49

to: Admin – If You want to delete your site from my spam list, please sent url of your domain to my emai: (stupid jerk’s email@.com)
And I will remove your site from my base within 24 hours
webmastegz

PS. As the previous address of an e-mail has been removed also all letters on it have been lost I is compelled to make this dispatch once again.
PS2. To send url your site on an e-mail (stupid jerk’s email@.com) is a unique way to avoid a spam from me. To write abuses to the various “stop spam” sites – it is useless.
PS3. Your addresses of an e-mail are not necessary to me, you can create an e-mail through free service and send me yours url through this e-mail
PS4. sorry for my bad English

Oh, suuuuuuuuuuuuure! I’ll send my email to you, you dumbkopf!

NOT!