Nov 13 2009
I don’t follow the news very much, especially the nauseating celebrity news. But Glenn Beck mentioned Carrie Prejean (uh, again) recently, and it made me wonder about her. I know she was the Miss California bikini babe… and didn’t she become Miss World or Miss Universe or Miss Ississippi or something? And then news “broke” out about how she posed “inappropriately” (read: nude) for a magazine? And now there’s some chatter about a s*x tape she supposedly made when she was 17?
[INSERT: 
A WHAT?!?! When she was HOW OLD?!?!?! Just out of diapers, was it??]
Now, didn’t I hear a couple of months ago that Carrie Prejean said she was Christian? Didn’t she say something like this, quoted from CNN:
“I am a Christian, and I am a model,” she said. “Models pose for pictures, including lingerie and swimwear photos.”
Wait wait wait: Models may do this and that… but what about Christians? Christians DON’T pose in lingerie and swimwear photos. So what ARE you, Miss Prejean.. a model or a Christian? Because you can’t really be both. And let’s all face it– swimwear and lingerie companies don’t NEED models to hawk their stuff. They can sell their goods WITHOUT catalogs full of half-naked girls, yes they can. So I don’t think that it’s swimwear and lingerie that’s being sold here, do you?
She said the photos “have been released surreptitiously to a tabloid Web site that openly mocks me for my Christian faith.”
Oh, honey, you’re doing JUST fine all by your little self.
“I am not perfect, and I will never claim to be,” she said. “But these attacks on me and others who speak in defense of traditional marriage are intolerant and offensive. While we may not agree on every issue, we should show respect for others’ opinions and not try to silence them through vicious and mean-spirited attacks.”
Rrrrrrrright. Ooooook. So you can be a Christian AND a nude model for Victoria’s Secret AND not be perfect. Well, I guess Jesus just didn’t know what He was talking about when he said, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matt 5:48). If I recall, that’s from the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus in the same breath also said that looking at women to lust after them is adultery. Plus, I have an inkling that Miss Prejean has NO IDEA what Jesus meant when He said to be perfect, nor does she exhibit any desire to discover the meaning. Because while I don’t think Jesus meant that we are to be without mistake, ever, He SURELY didn’t mean that it was a-OK to pose nude or semi-nude in magazines because, well, we’re all *just* flawed human beings and can’t be perfect any-old-way!
Seems to me that this “flavor” of “Christianity,” which is becoming more and more prevalent amongst the young people in this country, is not Christianity at all. This kind of Prejean Christianity is basically just non-Jewish and non-Muslim, and therefore by default, is “Christianity.”
I made a handy-dandy little list for you, dear Reader, that you might use to detect the doctrines of Prejean Christianity:
- How LITTLE can I do for God and still be considered a Christian?
- When I sin and get caught, call everyone “mean-spirited”!
- When I sin and get caught, I must defend my sin and my past “mistakes,” and proclaim that “I’m not perfect” or “showed bad judgment.”
- When I sin and get caught, do something WILD and CRAZY– like defend some Conservative pet project and that will make ‘em come running to defend me!
- Know that blonde, naked teenager photos will end almost all dissent, and turn even “conservative” talk-show hosts into a blithering pool of drool unable to defend basic decency and Christian precepts– except for crabby women and real Christians, who cannot be fooled.
- Publicity is good, even if it’s a reproach against Christianity! Because at LEAST Christianity is being talked about!
- When people disagree with me, claim persecution and intolerance!
- The Bible doesn’t mean what it says. What I FEEL at the time is more meaningful.
- There is no hypocrisy posing nude in catalogs marketed for men’s lusts, and defending “traditional” marriage, not at all!
- We just won’t agree on everything, now, will we? So let’s just agree to disagree! Ok? Ok?
Oh Lord. 
I hate Abercrombie & Fitch, anyway. It’s got more problems than just bedbugs. That business is sleeeeazy. 
But sometimes you just need to unpack the boxing gloves and go pound for pound with the perp. Like David Letterman. David Letterman is a creep, a real creep. Not just because he guffaws about the thought of crimes toward a little girl, but because he’s a really creepy perv. And he’s old, waaay too old to be on TV. There’s too much injustice in a world where sensible Jay Leno retires and drooling demented Dave goes on and on and on. I say let’s tilt the world in our favor a little, and clamor for Letterman’s firing. The best days are behind him, anyway (yeah, like 136,824 days behind him).
