Crabby Blogging Lady

Did you happen to catch the latest news on China that made the viral rounds last week? Somebody surfing on Google Maps spotted these funky patterns in the Chinese desert. The news caught on like wildfire, so everyone seemed to have their theory on the reason for the patterns. Some of the best included aliens (aliens are always touted these days for doing funky, unexplainable things), air strips, farming methods, mining, as jogging paths to replace hcg weight loss programs, and — my personal favorite– as “real life size” grids of the streets of Washington, DC, and New York City. China is gonna take over the U.S. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

I found that particular theory funny because, well, China IS already taking over the U.S.!!! HELLO!! Don’t they own most of our debt and practically own us already?? Why they heck would they waste their ammunition when we’re practically giving our country to them in a handbasket?

Now I know why small businesses are skittish.

I’m very concerned about our economy. Oh, we’ve known since the late 1990s that it was going to all come crashing down. You can only import SO MUCH from China and manufacture NOTHING toward exports before you go insolvent. And that’s only a tiny part of the problem.

So I’m needing a new laptop and I see a sweet little deal online. One of the best deals I’ve ever seen, actually. But gosh darn it, I can’t find the courage to hit the “Buy now” button. I’m just so nervous about the economy. I know God will provide for us (give us this day our daily bread), but if I blow so much money on a laptop and then things go south, how can I face Him? I’m just not convinced this is the best time to buy such a thing….

I’ve heard economists lamenting the fact that businesses are loathe to spend any money, because they are nervous about the new year’s taxes kicking in and such. Man, I feel that way exactly. It’s so risky to buy anything BIG. Things are that tenuous.

Or, maybe I’m just listening to the talking heads too much. Maybe things are not as bad as they seem. Maybe the housing industry will bounce back, and maybe the currency and economy will bounce back…. although I don’t see how that will happen. This downfall has taken a few decades to do, with lots of entangling policy tied into it. To extricate our country from this disaster will take a ton of work.

I don’t know HOW Mr. Crabby does it. He can watch those debates and the news and walk away with his blood pressure relatively under control. Me, I’m about to explode.

Durn it, over the weekend I had a veritable SLEW of crabby things to talk about, and — by golly — it’s all gone now. Gone. Must be getting close to Christmas with me feeling so warm and fuzzy like, ya know?

Oh here’s something! Iran is set to slaughter a young father. Why, you ask? What heinous crime did this young, law-abiding man do?

Oh he became a Christian.

What is wrong with that?!

Iran, by the way, supposedly has some “religious freedom.” Their constitution forbids anyone to be reprimanded for their religious faith. That’s not stopping the courts from doing whatever they like. Sheesh, maybe Iran and the US have more in common than we thought….

And the media is blaming… the young man! He should renounce his faith in Christ and become a Muslim, that will fix the problem!

Iranian Pastor Youcef Nadarkhani, who is facing the death penalty, again refused to convert to Islam to save his life….

Please excuse me while I cry. Humans can be so unjust, so wicked to each other.

I am really, really looking forward to the time when righteousness rules, ya know?

The government. They will never forget. They will never forget that nasty glare you gave little Kimmy in the play yard. They will never forget the bad word you said when you were a teenager, or the time when you tripped the class nerd to make the rest of the class laugh. They will never forget your mullet and your roach clips and your bare belly midriff.

I’m serious! They will really never forget!! Get a load of this news story.

Over 30,000 British schoolchildren, some as young as three, have had their names registered on a government database and branded “racist” or “homophobic” for using playground insults, infractions that could impact their future careers.

The shocking figures were disclosed after civil liberties group the Manifesto Club made a Freedom of Information Act request which betrayed the fact that kids who used petty jibes are now being treated as thought criminals by education authorities.

…The majority of the reported cases involved primary school children.

“The record can be passed from primaries to secondaries or when a pupil moves between schools,” reports the Daily Mail.

“And if schools are asked for a pupil reference by a future employer or a university, the record could be used as the basis for it, meaning the pettiest of incidents has the potential to blight a child for life.”

That is just sad. SO SAD!!! Little kids are little kids! And who wants to have life’s mistakes and foibles and sins stamped onto your forehead for the rest of your life, following you around in a line of trailer hitches. I just can’t believe these people are being so cruel.

You know, thank God that He is not like that. When we repent and turn to Him, He takes all our shame and regret and guilt and throws it away and never looks back. I love you, Lord, for that. And Lord…… please hurry up and come back because these idiots here on earth are creeping me out. Amen.

Dear Queen Liz:

Please don’t crown your son as king. PLEASE. He’s a kook. He says weird stuff all the time. He must get it from his father. Remember what Prince Philip said, about reincarnation?

“If I could be reincarnated, I would wish to return to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.”

That’s positive leadership for ya.

Well, bonnie Prince Charles isn’t any better. As a matter of fact, I think he may be worse, because he takes things seriously. Take a look at the latest thing your son had to say:

“We are, of course, witnessing what some people call the sixth great extinction event – the continued erosion of much of the Earth’s vital biodiversity caused by a whole host of pressures, from the rising demand for land to the corrosive effects of all kinds of pollution,” he said.

Now, I’m not against being good stewards of the earth’s resources, but I think Charlie’s taking the WWF extinction a BIT too personally. We don’t worship Nature, dear.

In Charles’ defense, he does — on occasion — say something sane. Like his statement that teenagers should be bombarded with activities to prevent them from forming gangs. Yay, team. I also think young people should work until they’re exhausted. Idle teenagers get into trouble. Make ‘em chop wood and clean litter and scrub subway floors, I say.

Still, Charles is a little too weird. He’s also cheated on his wife and been, in general, a rather strange chap. I have high hopes for William. Hopefully, you do, too.

Respectfully yours,
Mrs. Crabby

P.S. If at any time you need advice in other matters of state, feel free to call or write. Or leave a comment. Thanks.

“I know, I’ll name her after my wife!” he says.

MEN.

NBC News reports that some Russian dude, wandering out in the Arctic because — heck after all, it’s just plain FUN to walk across the Arctic, ya know? — stumbled upon the mummified (frozen) remains of a baby mammoth. It’s actually an amazing find. The creature is preserved intact, even its organs!

According to Scientific Rule #836, any person who discovers something gets to name it.

Either this guy was short on names or he’s looking for a divorce. He named the woolly mammoth after HIS WIFE.

Nice move, dude.

Oh and get this– what do the other scientists want to do with the poor dead creature almost as soon as they get their latex-gloved hands on it? Rip it apart, extract its DNA and clone it!

What is WRONG with people. Didn’t they ever see Jurassic Park?!?!?! And have these knuckleheads considered how much a monster like this EATS??? With most of our feed grain going toward gas and with all the screaming alarmists yelling about “population explosion” and food shortages, they want to clone an EATING MACHINE?