Crabby Blogging Lady

It’s almost here: the night responsible citizens and property owners sit up all night, guns in one hand and phones in the other, preparing for that one night of “mischief” where the worst of the population is allowed to wreak havoc, destroy property, and worship satan. All while law enforcement and other mindless citizens chant, “Oh well, kids will be kids…”

I HATE HALLOWEEN. Hate it. I’ve hated it ever since I was 14 or so. What a crappy “holiday.” I can’t believe that people actually recognize this day, let alone “celebrate” it!

Don’t give me that crap that this is “all for the kids” and “it’s only about dressing up.”

NO WAY!

Let me ask you something, you who say this– if my town celebrated Hitler’s birthday, what would you say to that? Oh, we don’t bake a cake that says “Happy Birthday, Hitler” on it, no… but we dress up, play dumb games and pass out goodies that rot our teeth. We carve vetetables with little arms in the raised “heil” position; some of us dress up with little black mustaches, too, ALLL in GOOOOD fun– knowing in the backs of our minds that it’s Hitler’s special day and it’s because of him that we set aside this day… but we celebrate guilt-free, and what we’re doing is OKAY, because ALL we’re doing is HAVING FUN and DRESSING UP! That’s what makes it OK, isn’t it?? Well, isn’t it?!?!

So now do you see how stupid that kind of reasoning is?

Halloween has disgusting pagan roots, and anyone whose brain hasn’t been washed by commercialism knows this. You can cover up the crappy celebration with decorations, treats, costumes, goodies, and apple-bobbings….. but we all know what it’s about. In the United States, Halloween was anathema to our godly forefathers… until the Celts brought the crap over in the late 1800s. Once the businessmen got ahold of the idea that they could sellsellsell all sorts of useless trash for this day and this day only, *BANG* it became a nationwide, celebrated “holiday!” There was no stopping it! And what’s absolutely gut-wrenching is that Christians actually take part in it, too!

In other countries, holidays have spiritual significance underlying the physical celebration (for good or bad). America is unique in that the only thing that makes us tick is MONEY and SHOPPING. Thus, Halloween is a-OK. It’s *just* a dress-up day Let the shopping celebrations begin!

BAH.

HUMBUG.

P.S. Does anyone happen to remember that October 31 is Reformation Day? Does anyone even know what that IS?! If not, well, WHY NOT, huh??? How come Reformation Day isn’t celebrated in public schools, but satanic Halloween is, huh???

BAH!

I CAN’T BELIEVE that people are already talking about Halloween?!?!?! I saw some ladies on Twitter all a-twitterpated about it. Hey, gals, I know you love to sew but PLEASE. It’s August 4th. Halloween is THREE months away. And I hate the holiday, so it’s bad enough when October nears.

I honestly don’t understand how Halloween has become one of the most beloved “holidays” in this country. It’s like a Mardis Gras for irreligious people, I suppose– a time when folks can be grossly immoral and morbid, and yet it’s all OK because it’s a “holiday”!

People are just plumb weird.

What’s worse is that there is no respect for godly, moral activities anymore. How about baptisms and christenings, huh? Those used to be holy days, days celebrated by the family. Oh I still may see a handful of Christening Invitations or whatever, but nothing on par with Halloween.

Halloween is a reproach to our country, our society. People dress up and act like imbeciles. They destroy private property and scare people out of their wits and gorge on sugary snacks. Huh?

I hate Halloween. WHAT a disgusting holiday. Between the gobs of candy that rot out children’s teeth, the demonic history, and the totally pathetic people who chant “It’s just for fun,” there is nothing redeemable about the day. As America strays further and further from the Biblical and intellectual moorings that made her great, Halloween has exploded in popularity.

My neighbors even have the GALL to decorate their yards with these dump truck-sized, inflatable spiders and witches.

I don’t want to see that crap when I look out my window!!

I be needing the eye wrinkle creams something serious, from squinting my eyes closed, and from all the yelling in agony…

So it gives me great joy to present a post by another fellow blogger, stark.raving.mad.mommy and her terrific post featured on the Funny Not Slutty blog network. In the post, s.r.m.m goes ballistic over the sexualization of Halloween costumes. WARNING: some of the photos are offensive. You kids better not go there or I’ll get out my frying pan and bonk you. Just take Crabby’s word for it– they STINK.

Just another reason to hate Halloween. As if I didn’t need one.

It’s almost here: the night responsible citizens and property owners sit up all night, guns in one hand and phones in the other, preparing for that one night of “mischief” where the worst of the population is allowed to wreak havoc, destroy property, and worship satan. All while law enforcement and other mindless citizens chant, “Oh well, kids will be kids…”

I HATE HALLOWEEN. Hate it. I’ve hated it ever since I was 14 or so. What a crappy “holiday.” I can’t believe that people actually recognize this day, let alone “celebrate” it!

Don’t give me that crap that this is “all for the kids” and “it’s only about dressing up.”

NO WAY!

Let me ask you something, you who say this– if my town celebrated Hitler’s birthday, what would you say to that? Oh, we don’t bake a cake that says “Happy Birthday, Hitler” on it, no… but we dress up, pass out holiday cards, and have games and pass out goodies. We carve zucchinis with little arms in the raised “heil” position; some of us dress up with little black mustaches, too, ALLL in GOOOOD fun– knowing in the backs of our minds that it’s Hitler’s special day and it’s because of him that we set aside this day… but we celebrate guilt-free, and what we’re doing is OKAY, because ALL we’re doing is HAVING FUN and DRESSING UP! That’s what makes it OK, isn’t it?? Well, isn’t it?!?!

So now do you see how stupid that kind of reasoning is?

Halloween has disgusting pagan roots, and anyone whose brain hasn’t been washed by commercialism knows this. You can cover up the crappy celebration with decorations, treats, costumes, goodies, and apple-bobbings….. but we all know what it’s about. In the United States, Halloween was anathema to our godly forefathers… until the Celts brought the crap over in the late 1800s. Once the businessmen got ahold of the idea that they could sellsellsell all sorts of useless trash for this day and this day only, *BANG* it became a nationwide, celebrated “holiday!” There was no stopping it! And what’s absolutely gut-wrenching is that Christians actually take part in it, too!

In other countries, holidays have spiritual significance underlying the physical celebration (for good or bad). America is unique in that the only thing that makes us tick is MONEY and SHOPPING. Thus, Halloween is a-OK. It’s *just* a dress-up day Let the shopping celebrations begin!

BAH.

HUMBUG.

I’m staying home, with my Mace. I’m also thinking of renting a rabid, nasty German Shepherd and setting him lose in my yard, to bite the prowlers who dare to paper my trees. I won’t get in trouble for it! No one ever gets in trouble on Halloween! After all, like the police department says every year, “these things will happen on a night like this.”

P.S. Does anyone happen to remember that October 31 is Reformation Day? Does anyone even know what that IS?! If not, well, WHY NOT, huh??? How come Reformation Day isn’t celebrated in public schools, but satanic Halloween is, huh???

BAH!