Dear Queen Liz:
Please don’t crown your son as king. PLEASE. He’s a kook. He says weird stuff all the time. He must get it from his father. Remember what Prince Philip said, about reincarnation?
“If I could be reincarnated, I would wish to return to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.”
That’s positive leadership for ya.
Well, bonnie Prince Charles isn’t any better. As a matter of fact, I think he may be worse, because he takes things seriously. Take a look at the latest thing your son had to say:
“We are, of course, witnessing what some people call the sixth great extinction event – the continued erosion of much of the Earth’s vital biodiversity caused by a whole host of pressures, from the rising demand for land to the corrosive effects of all kinds of pollution,” he said.
Now, I’m not against being good stewards of the earth’s resources, but I think Charlie’s taking the WWF extinction a BIT too personally. We don’t worship Nature, dear.
In Charles’ defense, he does — on occasion — say something sane. Like his statement that teenagers should be bombarded with activities to prevent them from forming gangs. Yay, team. I also think young people should work until they’re exhausted. Idle teenagers get into trouble. Make ‘em chop wood and clean litter and scrub subway floors, I say.
Still, Charles is a little too weird. He’s also cheated on his wife and been, in general, a rather strange chap. I have high hopes for William. Hopefully, you do, too.
Respectfully yours,
Mrs. Crabby
P.S. If at any time you need advice in other matters of state, feel free to call or write. Or leave a comment. Thanks.
