Crabby Blogging Lady

Warning: Get prepared for a crabby rant of nuclear-bomb proportions.

I have determined that watching shows like The Today Show and The View reduce one’s IQ by 20%. This percentage drop may be even more severe, based on what drivel is being discussed. For example, if the discussion revolves around Viagara-laden ice cream. Or, urinating (“peeing,” according to these be-wigged overaged schoolgirls) in the shower. Or, getting “bikini-ready”– one of the most important and news-worthy topics EVAH.

I was in the dentist’s waiting room. AGAIN. Same daughter, getting her teeth cleaned this time. It’s a good thing she wasn’t with me in the waiting room. I’d have hated to see her afflicted with the Stupid Woman Syndrome that was circulating there. That’s what our culture has developed for the modern day woman, the Stupid Woman Syndrome. It’s the modern-day plague that reduces women to stupidized, sexualized hunks of flesh for the enjoyment of men. Well, NOT MY GIRLS! Their lives are not going to be reduced to sex and bikinis, and to ponder weighty dilemmas such as how “peeing” in the shower is so gooood for your home’s plumbing system. Gawd!

So. In the waiting room. They have TVs in there. Have you noticed? They have TVs EVERYWHERE. I guess we just aren’t being brainwashed enough, people, with *only* our 7, 8 TVs in our homes. We must now have them in our shopping malls, supermarkets, and doctors’ offices. Oh the joy.

So the stupid Today Show was on. There was Hoda and Kathie Lee blabbing on and on in their overgrown Valley Girl accents about Viagara ice cream.

Real informative stuff.

And then after the highly intellectual commercial break (about how I am missing out on all of life’s pleasures by not buying such-and-such), they came back with a segment on making your body bikini-ready, and talking to “Lola” to see how SHE did it. Lola boasted that her “butt” no longer jiggles. And those dignified Today Show ladies had Lola stand up, so they could smack her “butt” to “prove it” scientifically.

And what’s worse, here’s Kathie Lee– I remember her from the respectable days of Christian gospel music and Name That Tune– what has happened to her?! Well, there she was in a red low-cut tank top– this woman in her 60s– dressed like a street girl from Times Square. Who does she think she is, Tammy Faye Baker?! The only thing worse than seeing a lady’s exposed cleavage is seeing a lady’s exposed WRINKLY cleavage. Good gravy… watching her was painful.

I could bear the idiotic drivel no longer, and turned away to watch the fish in the fish tank (why do dentists always have fish in their waiting rooms, I wonder?). I caught a glimpse of the four other ladies in the room with me. Their faces were GLUED to that TV screen, ready to take orders from that talking box. And when the commercials came on again for Skechers Shape ups and other stuff, the ladies turned away from the Boob Tube and started talking to each other in the same INSANE overgrown Valley Girl accents! OH my GaWd!

What ever happened to respect? What ever happened to that Up With Women movement in the 70s and 80s, where a woman was supposed to be judged by the content of her character and her intellect, and not the content of her bikini?? It is SO ironic– that “Hate-Men-I-Am-Woman-Hear-Me-Roar” Movement brought on by angry, ugly liberal women has reached fruition, and it’s nothing like they said it would be!

Those lying liberals told us that we “traditional” women (moral, godly, chaste housewives and mothers) were being stifled, were being denied education, and were not breaking that glass ceiling. So where are we after 30 years? We’ve got the ditzy, sarcastic, filthy-mouthed, sexualized, under-clothed, uncouth woman. Sure doesn’t seem like women are better off. Sure seems to me that MEN are better off. I think the condition of women is worse than before Betty Friedan started her whining. At least when woman was “enslaved” as a housewife and mother, she had some respect and honor. Today, women are either HOT or NOT. And that’s supposed to be our liberation?!?

How about valuing women simply because woman AS a woman is intrinsically valuable– for her worth before God, her intelligence, her outstanding skills, her innate talents for management, organization, tenderness, and compassion? Why is the measurement of a woman’s value still the measurement of her bust, waist, and hips, and about how dirrrty she can be?

The liberals’ social experiment with the woman’s role in modern culture is a failure. Woman hasn’t been liberated at all; she’s further enslaved. And what’s worse, she’s been trained like a dog to love her enslavement.

While gnawing my nails in the orthodontist’s waiting room, I flipped on my laptop to distract me. I found some funny dentist cartoons that I thought I’d share. There IS something about dentistry that makes us all laugh, now isn’t there? Ha. ha. ha.

**SIGHHHHH**

I’m at the orthodontist’s office, sitting in the waiting room. Boooring. Thank God for wireless Internet. My daughter is getting her braces removed. The office here is “open” with just partitions between the nervous mothers in the waiting room, the front desk with clattering telephones, and the orthodontists’ haven where they do all their work.

It’s driving me crazy.

I can hear the nasty sound of the dental drill from here.

It’s bad enough that I have to release my lovely and gentle young daughter into the hands of semi-strangers cloaked generic lab coats, who whisk her away to wrench their meaty hands into her small mouth and rearrange her delicate teeth. It’s sheer horror to hear the screaming of the drills, the clunking of the pipes, the growling of the motors.

And it got me thinking: modern technology– BAH! I’ll believe it when I hear it.

You see– they can put a man on the moon (at least, that’s what the government told us they did), they can create nano-microchips for computers, they can create atomic bombs and flourescent lighting and self-starting coffeemakers and fancy swirly skateboard ramps. But can they create a SILENT dental drill?! NOOOOO! Can they make a QUIET vacuum cleaner?!? NOOOOO! How about inventing a jackhammer that doesn’t kill your inner ear? How about making jet engines that only rattle the windows and not the bones of the dead and buried? Huh huh??

They’ve got it all wrong. Instead of making silencers for rifles, laser beams for warfare, stealthy aircraft for dropping bombs, why don’t they put technology to GOOD use, huh? The jerks.

Yeah, I’m a little tense. You would be, too. It’s bad enough having to endure the loathesome dentist experience for yourself; it’s another to have to sit for hours in a waiting room, hearing your tender young child go through it… :-p

P.S. By the way, guess what career my daughter is interested in? :-p