So this is another rant-about-Walmart post. :-p
In case it’s not obvious enough, I hate shopping at Walmart. Oh, the prices are OK (although they have steadily climbed, lately). The products are OK (if you like dented cans and cheapo Chinese crap). But the PARKING! Holy cow!!
Don’t people work JOBS anymore?!?!
I try to avoid the unwashed masses when I shop. I hate crowds of people. The melting pot of B.O., men’s cajun-style after-shaves, and nostril-burning insecticides that the women douse in, all drive me insane. Plus there are the young mothers who consistently shop only when they have a barfing, runny-nosed kid in the cart. And without a doubt, I am ALWAYS bumping in to these people. After such an excursion, I arrive home with stinky clouds of puke, Old Spice, and Chanel No. 5 on me. It’s a toxic mixture, enough to send the kids and the pets scurrying away. Ick.
So I choose odd hours to shop, that I may shop in some relative PEACE and QUIET and fresh, sanitary air. It used to be that I could shop somewhere around 1pm (after the lunch crowd had gone back to work, and before the little urchins were released from the concentration camps public schools). Not anymore! I don’t know what it is, but allllll day long, that Walmart parking lot is tightly packed with SUVs, and the store stuffed to the gills with shoppers.
It takes twice as long to shop because I am now dodging all these people with their 2, 3 grocery carts piled high with trinkets and snack foods (and these same people love to have long conversations with each other in the centers of the aisles). Something as simple as grabbing a pair of women’s shoes can take 40 minutes– 30 minutes to navigate the narrow aisles crammed with talking crowds of people, and 10 minutes to pick out and try on the shoes! And I won’t even TELL you about the check out lines!
Don’t people work JOBS anymore?!?! 
There are old men, young men, old women, young women, kids and even a few dogs! What the ?! How can so many people fill these stores, shopping like maniacs, if they don’t work? Or has the world turned upside down while I napped, and everyone works at night now??
Is it just me? Are you finding the stores filled with “working age” people at all times of the day? Did I miss some amazing announcement by Obama, urging people to quit their jobs and shop their guts out at all hours of the day? What is going on?
May 30th, 2009 at 10:05 am
I think the same thing! I don’t understand it either. Where are all these people coming from??!?! I have to do my shopping after work, so when I happen to be there on a weekday, I’m shocked at how many people aren’t working a day job. Yeah, maybe the rest of the world works nightshift.
{scratches head}
May 30th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
On the flipside of the coin, when it comes to banking…I get home from work after 6 pm and the banks are CLOSED! I think banks need Walmart hours.
May 30th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Why don’t you do like I do and have your husband do all the shopping? I have him really well trained.
May 30th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Wal-Mart allows dogs now? I’m thinking about training my neighbors Pit Bull to buy video games and toilet paper for me.
May 30th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
C.B. Jones– oops, my error. I meant to say “Goth chicks.”
Patricia— I BARELY got mine to learn “roll over”! Please reveal your secret!
David– I’ve often wondered why banks are so hostile when it comes to customer service. After the recent bailouts and changes in laws that protect banks even more, I think I realize why. Good luck. Might want to stick with cash, now, anyway…
Kathy– I’ve come to the conclusion that it must just be the Upstate NY economy. EVERYONE is out of a job, and unemployment checks subsidize the folks still stuck in the state. I’ve heard rumors that our state government just may construct a large concrete wall between us and Pennsylvania, to keep us, uh, “blessed and happy” within our borders…
May 31st, 2009 at 12:47 am
At least they lined their cars up nicely.
May 31st, 2009 at 7:23 am
I’m with you!!! Shopping at WalMart is insane. You don’t know how many times I have turned away from my basket to grab a cheapo item made in China and, when I go to place it in my basket along side the dented cans, my basket has been taken by another shopper that has left me their basket filled with more crappy stuff. Then, the chase is on – I want my crappy stuff back.
BTW, I see you were featured today in the Sunday Suck-Up Times!!! Congrats and have a WalMart-less day!
May 31st, 2009 at 10:28 am
Oh THANK YOU, I’m not the only one who thinks this! Well, my husband does too. We are more and more becoming online shoppers – many online stores have better deals anyway and I would rather pay shipping than have to have some ignorant punk sales-clerk (assuming you can find them of course) sell me things without knowing what the hell he’s doing.
May 31st, 2009 at 2:09 pm
I avoid Walmart like Will Ferrell avoids good scripts. There are just too many viable alternatives to shopping at the Retail Land of the Lost.
I found your place through Left Field, and I’m glad I did! Nice writing.
Chris
cdmauger.blogspot.com
May 31st, 2009 at 7:10 pm
I shop at Wal Mart at 1:00 A.M. the masses are still at the bar.. last call here isn’t until 1:15.. so it’s pretty easy shopping. The toads are still there,, but not normally with their kids.. and I’m not afraid to bump their fat butts in the middle of the aisles. I’m just a B that way.
May 31st, 2009 at 9:08 pm
I actually drive a little further just so I can avoid the busy Walmart in my neighborhood. The Walmart I go to is pretty hidden and out near the swamp lands so fewer people shop there. I don’t know what it is like during the week, but this morning it was packed. Folks were shopping for everything! I guess our temporary need to save has shifted or more people are working and therefore making money. But then again, Walmart has discounted prices. I also visit the malls and traffic is noticeably different from years past.
Maybe shopping helps people “feel better” and forget that they don’t have a job? Spending what we don’t have is NOT a new idea….now is it?
May 31st, 2009 at 9:49 pm
Yep. Our Wally-Worlds are the same. I guess it’s people like me that work odd hours. You don’t want to be anywhere near one on Race weekend around here. Sheesh!
June 1st, 2009 at 2:59 pm
Well there are lots of people shopping but no one serving. I was at Target last week (in the middle of the day) and it is a good thing I had running shoes on … I could not find anyone working the floor. What I want to know where all the help is hiding.
Viveca
March 15th, 2010 at 2:20 pm
I’m frightened that the Pit bull wants a special kind of proprietor…these pet dogs, no matter how ‘sensitive’ still have teeth, are nevertheless animals without moral principles and once they DO bite, won’t allow go. As in all creatures…some have a tendency to be far more suseptable to instinctual habits and time and time again, this breed tends to perform just that.