Crabby Blogging Lady

I know I know! All this sicky-sweet, “non-intelligent” stuff about Easter, the massive evidences for the resurrection of Jesus Christ, all the people of the world celebrating hope and peace and all that unatheistical crap… it must have you atheists down in the dumps. ‘Specially since there hasn’t been any real GOOD evolutionist hoax in such a long time! What with phony Haeckle’s embryos, the peppered moth debacle, the creative but goofy “just so” stories, the fake Pilt Down Man and Lucy, not to mention no evidence whatsoever of evolution… what’s a depressed atheist to do on Easter Sunday, sheesh?

Oh but the propaganda outlets have dropped a bone for you guys. Literally! OH man I am so funny! Pun intended!

But LOOK!

Scientists to Unveil Possible Missing Link Between Ape and Man!

Oooooo a “possible” missing link story! (Again). And look– BONES found within a TOMB! Wow, they couldn’t make this stuff up!

(April 4) — The missing link between humans and their ape-like predecessors could be filled in this week with the unveiling of a 2 million-year-old skeleton believed to be that of a new species of evolutionary primate, according to the London Telegraph.

The almost-complete fossilized child’s skeleton, discovered in a limestone cave in South Africa by Professor Lee Berger of the country’s University of the Witwatersrand, is believed to provide new clues about the evolutionary gap between the ape-like Australopithecus afarenis, which emerged almost 4 million years ago, and Homo habilis, the first species of advanced humans, which emerged 2.5 million years ago.

The new species is believed to be a hominid…

These constant “discoveries” and “news” reports do get kind of old. But its for YOU, dear atheists! Now that the propaganda outlets have assuaged your conscience once again, you can enjoy your Easter Sunday. Maybe even scoff at the millions of scholars, scientists, logicians, and professors who have found overwhelming evidence for the resurrection of Jesus Christ. It’s OK. Go back to eating your peeps in happy fantasy-land. Yeah yeah, OK OK, you ARE so much smarter than everyone else. Happy Easter.

So it’s another new year, hurray! Another year of ridiculous celebrity-watching, of watching politicians lie through their teeth (ho hum), of ingesting all the latest hype that the media dishes out. Wonder what we’ll have to endure for 2010. Big whoop.

And then there are, of course, New Year’s resolutions. When did this tradition start? Who made up such a dumb thing? Nobody ever keeps them! Bah. I’m going to break tradition. Instead of ME making New Year’s resolutions for me, I’ll make up some resolutions for you! How’s that? Yes, I thought you’d be happy!

• Gain some weight. Be a non-conformist! Who says everyone needs to be as skinny as Angelina Jolie, huh?! People, you are FINE as you are! Plus, once the dollar is totally devalued and our economy tanks, you’re going to need all the extra fat you can get, to survive the tough times. That is, unless you’ve been following Glenn Beck’s advice and have a basement full of potatoes for the coming depression.
• Stop buying cheapo Chinese products! Americans and other people in Western nations complain that there are no jobs, no work… you know why? Because the politicians that YOU have been voting for have outsourced everything to China! Heck, 1 out of 4 American babies are now made in China! This must stop! Let’s take our economy back before we have to start learning Chinese and Hindi! Buy American, vote those crooks out of office, and demand that laws be changed to favor American companies and not foreign investments.
• Stop expecting Trickle Down “hope and change.” Funny, the same people who despised Reagan’s Trickle Down economics now religiously promote it when it comes to “social justice” or “fairness.” Give me a break. You want hope and change? Make it yourself, in your own family first, then your own community. Quit thinking so monarchially– we’re a republic and government is supposed to start with US, not the other way around.
• Get to know your neighbors. Let’s build communities again. Build front porches again, clean up your town both of litter and juvenile delinquents.
• Throw out the TV. It’s crap. We all know it. But for some ungodly reason, people still keep watching that durn boob tube! And then, they go on Twitter and ALL they tweet about is what they are, have, or will be watching on TV! It’s insane!

Ah. Now that I have this all off my chest, I think I may just enjoy the new year. Have a happy one!

P.S. Be sure to keep me updated on how you’re doing with those resolutions. If you ever need a kick in the pants to get you going, let me know.

Remember this moldy oldie, folks?!

HAHA!!

When I worked in radio, back in the 80s, I had to play this stupid song almost EVERY HOUR during the Christmas music season. It nearly drove me up the wall.

I quit radio, gee, about 20 years ago now!, and for some weird reason, I remembered that song today. Funny how sentimental one gets as they age…

…so I played it for my kids. I was yukking it with peals of laughter, almost tossing my cookies because I was laughing so hard. The kids just had blank looks on their faces, obviously puzzled as to why their mother was having such a good time.

Whatever. I can party without them. I played it over and over, just like those bygone days of carefree and splendid youth! Over and over and over…

..and then… about a half hour later, I hear them singing it under their breath to each other. HA!

P.S. That music video deviates slightly from the song version. The video has Grandma pop out from the chimney, alive, after a day (apparently, Santa’s sleigh had dumped her in the chimney and she didn’t really die). The reason for the watered down version is because TV didn’t want to shock the young viewers with violence (death of Grandma) and have kids entertain the thought that Santa was a murderer. Lordy, how things have changed in 20 years!!

I’d like to wish all those who have endured my rants, my whinings, my grumblings, and my brilliant deductions and reasonings:

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

And for the rest of you: BAH HUMBUG!

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

So which one are you?

As surprising as it may be, I am NOT Miss Perfect. Truly, I’m not! No, I must be humble and admit which character represents me best.

It’s The No Giver.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, all!

thanks to Joy of Tech for an insightful comic, and for being *almost* as crabby as I am this time of year.

Well, I don’t celebrate Christmas or the season, also known as WinterSolstice /Saturnalia /Kwanzaa /Hannukah /Yuletide /GreedyShoppingandGettingPresentsTime. DON’T get me going on Christmas!! I’ll explode! It’s a pagan holiday with Catholic clothes on. I don’t hate it as much as I hate Halloween, but I do still hate it. I refuse to do the tree thing, the mistletoe thing, or the going-broke-to-buy-everyone-presents thing.

Ooo but I will receive a present if given to me, heehee.

Like this t-shirt. Isn’t it SUPERB! I think it’s perfect for someone like me!

I also love this.

Both items are from Despair.com, that phenomenal company who should give me some kind of affiliate contract (since I mention them so often). They sell SOOOO much good stuff, perfect for crabbies and crabby-wanna bees! They don’t have any medical equipment (although my doctor’s office could sure use some of their demotivational posters– there’s one secretary there is just TOO durn cheery! The other one is always horribly nasty and crabby, so she’s fine). Well, ANYWAY… Despair.com has calendars, mugs, posters, t-shirts, etc. This is NOT a sponsored post for them, either– although I wish it was! I should be getting a hefty cut of their online profit, since so many of my crabby-infected readers go there and buy that stuff.

But, dang, I just love that t-shirt. GOTTA get me one, and wear it to WalMart. Think anyone will understand it?