Crabby Blogging Lady

Yes, this post is another about driving. Maniac driving, to be specific.

So we had a snowstorm the other day. Big, messy, icy, scary snowstorm. The flakes were the size of quarters and they were coming down in such thick sheets that visibility was only about 1/4 mile. Really nasty stuff.

So what do some knuckleheads do?

They go SHOPPING.

OK OK they not only go shopping, they drive like MANIACS on the roads.

The newspapers were filled, once again, with local goons who spun in circles on the highways and into ditches because they were going too fast. In one accident, some knucklehead almost killed a policeman who had stopped to assist a pickup truck driver who was stuck in the ditch. The driver saw the spinning car approaching and pushed the cop out of the way as the car careened toward them. Both the pickup driver and the car driver were ticketed for excessive speed in unsafe conditions.

DUH.

It’s getting dangerous to drive out there anymore. No, no, I’m not worried about the snow, bad roads, hurricanes, tornadoes and earthquakes. This is much worse— it’s the DRIVERS! Ugh, enough to make me need Migraine surgery, I tell ya.

Mr. Crabby got snow tires for the car.

I LOVE SNOW TIRES!!!! LOVE THEM! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!

While all the other drivers were spinning wildly around and around in the parking lots, I was zipping by with ease. Muahahhahaha!!! What a wonderful, liberating feeling.

Of course, all those other drivers have such fancy cars with kuat bike racks on them…. I don’t know why people even DRIVE such expensive cars in the winter. If crashing into the snow banks isn’t bad enough, the road salt kills the cars in a year or two. Sheesh.

By the way, what IS IT with SUV drivers? How is it that these people turn into raving mad maniacs as soon as they get behind the wheel of a truck, huh? I’m no granny, I keep the speed limit or go a little over, but EVERY SINGLE SUV I ever see is breathing down my tailpipe, 2 inches from my bumper, pushing pushing me to go faster. As soon as there’s an empty spot in the lane (and sometimes regardless), the SUV roars past me, spewing great clouds of oily smoke.

What the?

Why are they so stinkin aggressive? They make driving very unpleasant. GET A LIFE, SUV drivers!

Well, it doesn’t matter today. Because today in my little bitty car I sped past THEM, spewing bits of slush and snow onto their license plates! Muahaha!! I am the QUEEN today!

You asked for it, I got it. Crazy cars!!! It’s ALL the rage now, huh?

Roll out the barrel! Haha!

The Good: No more banging the car door against other cars in the parking lot! The Bad: If someone rear-ends you and you aren’t buckled in…..

This one is best followed by the “dog” car. What a design, though. Must have taken some heavy-duty technical expertise from the Houston web design gurus to get this one right….

*Some* people would accuse me of driving such a car…

Just plain weird.

Show-off:

Uhhhh what is it? The Blob?

I’ve always wanted to drive a Chia Pet. Hey, you could also snack on something green while in traffic.

This one must have a magnet for an engine. Hold on to your refrigerator magnets, people, lest this car slurp them up while it goes down the street!

The Barbie car. Or, Maureen Dowd car.

This one helps alleviate the “bugs splattering on the windshield” problem.

A popular model for Third World countries.

Tacky!!

I hope you enjoyed these as much as I did. :D What’s your favorite?

see more Historic LOL

Odyssey Dawn? That’s what President Obama’s [unconstitutional] military strikes into Libya are named? LOL. I dunno, it just sounds kind of funny, like a girl’s name.

You all know I usually try to avoid politics and current events on this blog (*snicker*) but I got this funny in my email and just HAVE to share.

Apparently the White House tossed out a number of perfectly good names before arriving at “Operation Odyssey Dawn”:

10.Operation Nine Months In The Senate Didn’t Prepare Me For This
9. Operation Organizing for Libya
8. Operation Double Standard
7. Operation FINE! I’ll Do Something
6. Operation Enduring Narcissism
5. Operation So That’s What the Red Button Does
4. Operation France Backed Me Into A Corner
3. Operation Start Without Me
2. Operation Unlike Bush Wars This One Is Justified Because Hey Look A Squirrel
1. Operation Aimless Fury

Hee hee! I especially like #1 and #2. SO apropos! Hahahahah!!!

OK, enough fooling around. Turn off those sweet samsung 3d tvs and get back to work, everyone!

Oh dear.

A billboard in South Bend, Indiana, is making big news. Apparently, the local school has a billboard advertisement touting the glories of pubic education. Exactly.

Photo taken from news story site.

Apparently, the billboard got through FOUR proofreaders, all who missed the “typo.” I’ll betcha they were all educated in pubic schools, eh? Or maybe distracted by all the ads for iPads and thermogenic fat burners hot off the presses?

So you tell me, is this just a typo?

A Freudian slip?

Or just another good reason why parents should home school their children?

Hmmmm