Crabby Blogging Lady

Why is the American diet so awful?

I’m trying to shed a few pounds and am therefore painstakingly logging every scrap of food into some crazy food/diet/journal thingy. I’m doing OK, but it ain’t easy.

My ears are also more attuned to “food news.” You know, all those news exposes on fast foods and other junk. Good heavens, why is the American diet so terrible?! And why are we so fat?! I don’t think we are fat necessarily because we eat more than others, but because we have so many chemicals and junk in our food. Corn syrup, MSG, flavorings, sugars, etc. It’s shameful for one of the greatest nations in the history of mankind to be so impoverished and willfully ignorant when it comes to diet.

Well, I know that I have to change. No more french fries for me. No more greasy pizzas, pastries, cakes, donuts, cheese-filled casseroles, heavy pasta dishes and chicken wings for me. Well, maybe I’ll sneak in a chicken wing or two. I gotta have SOME fun. But not my whole diet! I’m on a tag heuer formula one diet, baby, and I’m going to get healthy if it kills me!

Perfect. I love this creature, I tell ya.

… it would be THIS ONE.

HA HA HA HA!!! I love this cat! Look at that frown, like draw string bags! I love this cat! Everyone calls him (or her?) Grumpy Cat but his (or her?) real name is Tardar Sauce. Now THAT’S s stupid name for a cat. But oh well, you can’t win them all.

I love Grumpy Cat!

Gawd, I can’t stand out celebrity culture. CAN’T. STAND. IT.

There was a news story on some news program, about a local blogger who had “MADE IT BIG!!!!!” He started out like all of us — mere peons! — but created a blog and before long, he was making the big bucks! Now he’s this month’s poster boy for Little People Who Make It In the News For Their Heroic Accomplishments!

So, what great exploits is poster boy writing about that makes him so incredible?! What could it be?! New scientific discoveries? Heartwarming stories that inspire young people? Writing reviews about patagonia pullovers at rockymountaintrial and other stuff? His daily journal of visiting elderly folks or teaching autistic children, or maybe disputing the fallacies of atheism and evolution?

He blogs about television shows.

TV?!

According to the news story, his brilliant career began when he started blogging about the television shows he watches.

I’m… speechless. Flabbergasted. THIS is what people are flocking to read? The nothingness that is television?! Not only filling their brains while they watch it at the time, but going to read blogs and websites about it as well?

Ugh, winter. It’s been a long one this year, and one to go down in my memoirs as one of the toughest ever. Good heavens, can I have a vacation yet?! I’m primed, baby, primed. Sandy beaches, swelling ocean waves, SUNSHINE (I am so vitamin d deficient it’s crazy), peace and quiet. Skip steamy, crowded Florida, I want Hilton Head Island. I SO SO want to go there. I heard about the place a couple of years ago. It looks so relaxing. I’d probably forgo the golf courses and shops and just sit on the beach and watch the waves. For hours. And hours. *sigh*

I was about 11 years old when I sat on a Harley. Those were the days. My pop had a few bikes, but he loved his Harley. The thing purred like a kitten and the seat was roomy enough to allow me (and sometimes the boys) to sit with him when he went out. BOY OH BOY there is nothing like riding a bike!! The thrill of the air screaming across your ears, the open-air sensation as you’re zipping down the pavement. Yep, I’m in memory lane right now, peeps. I checked out a website that sells Harley accessories and was propelled right back into those “olden” days. Sweet.